The Pardu

Fenian Tim, Chancellor University Of Amnesia (U of A)

Curator: Tim Morrissey

www.irishsurnames.com
Social commentary can take many forms. From satire through deeply serious reporting and comment, the social commentary spectrum is vast, entertaining and informative. 

For examples of the point, consider Comedy Central’s The Daily Show w/Jon Stewart as host and the former Stephen Colbert hosted show. On the opposite end of the spectrum from Comedy Central, Rush Limbaugh ragga-muffin show and the more widely viewed Fox News network.

Friend of the TPI, Fenian Tim, from time to time fires-off meaningful social commentary via the Stephen Colbert-like social world of the University of Amnesia (AKA U of A).  
   
As is frequently the case with most public bourne entities the U of A developed and adopted a set of values, a mission and goals. The U OF A Chancellor, Fenian Tim, and his circle of illusive academics developed and now fosters a simple set of principles embedded in a “askance” cynosure acronym:


Prior to it’s inception Fenian Tim posited extensively on issues from his first activist-love Cycling through showing respect for those who fought the ill-advised Viet Nam War.  

Sidebar: No, Fenian Tim did not serve as an in-country foot solider during the Viet Nam War. He is reported to have served in a musty-INTEL 24/7-365 compound floor along with hundreds who are commonly referred to as SIGNINT (Signal Intel) COMINT (Communication Intel) gathers and trackers.

“Have Headset and R-390; Will Travel”

        

     SilentWarriorsUSAFSS Dad
Fenian Tim Quotes: “They Talked; We Listened.”

Tim Morrissey
October 11, 2015· 

We here at the University of Amnesia see that the buzz continues about the names people choose for their children. We believe strongly that any name is a good name, and also that some names makes us chuckle, some make us laugh and some make us shake our collective heads. Someone named Raven-Symone’ is taking the Black culture to task as part of this; we would like to remind folks that no racial or ethnic partition has a patent on this. Searching back through our memories (its what we do) we found the immigrant woman from Poland who not knowing she was pregnant went to hospital to find relief only to find a newborn at her side when she woke up. The staff needed a name for the child and they wanted it NOW, so the woman looked at the form, asked what a certain line of the form was and liked the sound of it so she named her baby boy Wassermann Positive Poldarski. Another, and we are still checking to see if this is true or not, was a woman who gave birth 2 weeks early. No problem but she had not decided on a name. She knew she wanted something ‘unique’ so she searched quickly the available literature in her room for something. She noticed at the bottom of the form for a live birth that the form was printed by the Plexi Company, abbreviated “Plexico”. Yup, that’s the story. So don’t be afraid to view with interest the names people choose for their kids but remember its only a name and “Atticus” can easily become “Butch” and “Deshawnquantrel” can as easily become “Spike”; “Siobhan” might be “Sissy”. Its all good.

Tim Morrissey
September 17, 2015

We have been to many countries where the people who are citizens there speak many languages. They do this because the country is very heterogenous. The Swiss; The Dutch; The French (begrudgingly so they would like you to think.) So re this current issue of “Americans speak English’ and “assimilation requires you to speak English”. We here at the University of Amnesia were curious about this so we asked the Dean of our Language Arts Dept., Juan Hunglow for a comment. “Of course one must speak English to not just ‘assimilate’ but exist in America. But that does not mean one has to give up any other language they may speak. Most Dutch people speak Dutch, French, English and German. Why? Because French, Americans, Germans live there and they want to communicate. Its not some ‘magic bullet’ nor is it a cultural slap in the face.” We were trying to remember if we ever saw a sign in Rome that says ” Parlare italiano se volete un servizio “.


Tim Morrissey

September 11, 2015
We here at the University of Amnesia (Our motto “Try Not To Forget”) received word that a recent poll had been taken which showed that about 30% of the people polled would favor an armed insurrection to take over the government. So we asked our Department of History for an opinion on this: had it ever been like this before? The Chair of the Department, Neva Tulate sent back this note: “We found other polls taken over the years that asked pretty much the same questions. One in particular was about 35% for an armed take over, with criminal charges to be pressed against the President and his cabinet. That was in 1972. Another one in 2004 showed this: 2% for a take over; 10% to maintain the status quo (that means “leave things as they are’) and 50% having no opinion; actually they answered by checking the box saying “What good would it do?”


A Fenian lesson in patience. I have read students at U of A are required to always exercise patience!


“This is why its important to have patience and always consider the bigger picture.” Fenian Tim, Chancellor


After a couple of pre-U of A posts, find below a few position statements from the U of A Chancellor.

Tim Morrissey (Fenian Tim)
May 8, 2012 

In the history of this country, there has never been an amendment to a constitution, Fed or state, that has limited the freedom of a group of people, that has stood the test of time. Not one. Not women. Not people of color. And now we’re gonna pick on homosexuals? Fine. Will it last? Never has so there is no reason to think this will last. All it does is make people look bad, mean, stupid, but in North Carolina, a state that bragged about electing Jesse Helms, looking like this rises to a new level.

Tim Morrissey (Fenian Tim)
May 21, 2012 

So this Romney ad about his first day as President: Day One he approves the XL Pipeline? What? For real? Who does that help? Someone needs to explain this to me. I read 6000 jobs for 2 years. Canada gets to sell their expensive oil sands and put out major pollution and the Europeans get all the transported oil in the form of diesel. How does this help us Americans? Day Two he is going to make it easier for businesses to do something, not specific. Day 3 he will repeal the Health Care reform and replace it with “common sense” health care. Look. Romney is the only Republican that might be able to beat President Obama but this isn’t going to do it.

Tim Morrissey (Fenian Tim)
August 26, 2012 

When we graduated from high school in 1964 Vietnam was raging and we were pretty much cannon fodder. One slip and you were 1-A and either drafted or you enlisted. I slipped and changed schools, got a draft notice and enlisted doing my 6 years, 4 on active duty and 2 in the reserves in the USAF, fighting the Cold War. But I am curious, with all the ‘support out troops’ posts flying about, some from folks I know avoided all this nastiness in one fashion or another, as to whom on FB served. Own up. Spouses works.


Skipping forward to 2014/2015
Tim Morrissey
June 8, 2014

We here at the University of Amnesia just got a note from the Dean of Anthropology, Sports Division, Racial Issues. He notes the emergence of racers other than white, Europeans in the professional cycling ranks. He writes that while whites have long dominated the professional peleton, blacks are appearing on many of the leading teams and that one young man, from Etruria is the current King of the Mountains in the Crit de Dauphine. He further discusses how one notes the racial makeup of these riders, it being an international get together and while African-American seems to work in the US, African-Spanish and the like is unheard. “A French rider of color”; and “an African rider of color”, and a ‘white African rider” is de rigueur.


We here at the University of Amnesia were puzzled by a note sent to us: “Since magistrates and others charged with fulfilling certain aspects of the Constitutional law claim that doing so violates a pact they have with their God, why do certain Mormons who believe that their God commands them to have multiple wives find their beliefs unlawful. Isn’t it the same principal (sic).”

We here at the U of A admit we had forgotten about the Warren Jeffs case and all it entails, and how the law forbids him and his followers to practice what they believe their God commands them.

So, we have asked the Deans of the Philosophy, Religion and Psychology departments to make written comments. All three replied that they had better things to do. This why we here at the University of Amnesia continue to be a world leader in education.
University of Amnesia
As a tenured professor at the University of Amnesia I will be teaching a refresher course: American Culture-White People Behaving Badly, with illustrations. Meets 42 times in 2 weeks; 5 hours per class. There’s a lot of material to cover…

Tim Morrissey's photo.

Tim Morrissey
University of Amnesia
We here at the University of Amnesia would like to share this memo from the Dean of Applied Science, Meteorological School, sent out yesterday. “As you put on your long undies this morning think about this: January 2015 was the hottest January on record, worldwide.”


Tim Morrissey
University of Amnesia
We here at The University of Amnesia wondered about the current activities in Baltimore so we asked the Dean of the History Department if he could shine a light on any of this. “Why” we asked “Do people when confronted with what seems to them to be insurmountable issues react by destroying things?” He said he would search around for a simple explanation; something that would be succinct and easy to understand. He sent back this:

Tim Morrissey
April 7 

University of Amnesia

Somber moment here at The University of Amnesia as we remember, or try to remember, WWI. Its been 100 years and one can count on the big battles, with all their horror, being recounted from now until 2018. It was the ‘War to End All Wars’ and in the words of the Dean of our History Dept. “never lived up to its name.” The Dean of our Drama School, TV division was watching a popular show, ‘Mr. Selfridge’ and notes that the Battle of Verdun plays prominently in one story line. Not enough room here for all the details but we would encourage one to look it up and see what ‘carnage man can wreck on his fellow man’, that quote from The Dean of our Philosophy Dept, Ennui Division.



Tim Morrissey

August 8
University of Amnesia


We here at the University of Amnesia asked our Psychology Department, Para Division, Predictions Section for any comments about the coming presidential elections and its candidates. The noted lecturer Anna Flaktic had this to say: 

“We predict that Mr. Sanders will win the first primary that he enters. This will cause both a media frenzy and an eruption from the Clinton campaign, so much so that any and all focus on the GOP will vanish. It will be as if they do not exist until such time that Ms. Clinton regains the advantage, and by then, if the timing is correct, the GOP will not be able to recover and their candidate will be nominated in relative obscurity. We have a new Magic 8 Ball on order and will give further info regarding the coming election as it becomes available.”


Tim Morrissey
August 2015 (mid month)
University of Amnesia

We here at the University of Amnesia are fascinated by all this drama surrounding immigration and laws and policies so we asked an alumni to comment about his family.

 “When I started researching I found out this about immigration: the rules were pretty sketchy. These 3 brothers, my great grand father and his brothers, came from Ireland 1853-56 then another in 1867. One stayed in Ireland and a sister stayed: neither fared well. Of the 4 who came to the US all tried their hand at naturalization and one of them actually did it. In those days one went down to the county courthouse and filled out what was know as one’s ‘First Intention’; which was exactly that, they intended to become a citizen and they stated when they arrived in the US, from where, what language did they speak, where they lived etc. They did not take any tests, classes etc. Of these 4 one went through with it and filed and received his US citizenship. On that ‘Final Paper” he disclosed the name of the vessel that brought him to the US, the route he took, and disclaimed any allegiance to the reining monarch of England at the time, swore allegiance to the US, signed it and had it witnessed. The other 3 never did the Final Paper. That was pretty much it. I can’t tell if any of them voted, but they did pay their property taxes. The US Census from those times periods accurately reflects from where they came and their citizenship status. What’s really interesting is that all these documents are extant, and I ordered copies of them. All of the children from all of these guys were ‘birthright citizens’ but of course it does not say that, just where they were born, in this case the US.”

We asked the head of the Geo-Politics Department about this- about families and immigration and such. He said “Most families in the US can trace their heritage back two generations and find two things: two generations ago their family was born and/or lived on a farm and two generations ago someone in that family was an immigrant.” 

We here in our plush ivory tower offices have no idea what this has to do with anything; but we are glad we have experts to clarify the answers to these pressing questions.


Response from  an interested observer and commenter

I believe the majority of the illegal immigrants are here for a better life. Unfortunately though the US provides too many freebies and benefits creating a class of peoples (citizens and not) who have no real incentive to “get ahead”if their basic needs are handed to them from cradle to grave. The only thing asked in return of these people is to vote (as many times as they can)

Fenian Response

    Tim Morrissey: 

    The word immigrant means someone going to (think ‘Into’…I) another country for the purpose of making it one’s home. The word ’emigrant’ (think exit…E) means someone is leaving their home country to go somewhere else and make it a new home. 

    The term ‘immigration’ requires two things:  

    1)  A person willing to immigrate to a new country and 

    2) The country must be willing to accept said immigrant.  

    One cannot ‘illegally immigrate’; one can forge documents, crash a border etc and one can be illegally present in a foreign country, but one cannot, by definition ‘illegally immigrate’. One is either an immigrant or one is not. It is also a permanent term: if one immigrates then one is always an immigrant to that country regardless of citizenship status. The terms ‘alien’, ‘foreign national’, ‘visitor’, ‘temporary worker’ etc are terms that apply also and to these the term ‘illegal’ can be applied; one can be a ‘legal temporary worker’ or one can be an ‘illegal temporary worker ‘. 

    It should also be pointed out that we have had illegal temporary workers enter the US from the south for decades. It is only in the last decade that the number of such has increased to a tipping point where some of these people instead of contributing to the workforce (regardless of their legality) began to use services and costing money. Up until that point no one gave much a crap about it other than the normal bigotry, but oh my, when they went to the ER for some free medical treatment the paradigm shifted. It seems to bother Conservatives more so than regular people, but then since conservatism does seem to be a ‘rationale for selfishness’ that makes sense; ‘It was fine as long as it didn’t cost me anything.’

    Tim Morrissey August 2015 (late month)
    University of Amnesia
We here at the University of Amnesia were leaving to go home the other day when we noticed a woman in the parking lot putting her child into the car. “This car seat is bad-ass’ she said to no one in particular. We wondered about that. So we asked the Dean of the Language Arts Dept. Vernacular Section, about this.

“It used to be that the term ‘Bad ass’ was used to describe someone with whom you did not want to mess; a term denoting a warning. Now days it is used to describe everything from a fishing lure to a cup of coffee; a dress to a weather report. It has lost all meaning.”

We saw the woman again this morning so we casually commented on her car child seat, how nice it looked. “Its bad ass” she said. We added that she also had a nice car. “Its bad ass” she said. We asked if it was new. “My husband just got it. He’s bad ass”, she added. As we turned and left one of our companions said “Let’s knock her out and put her in the trunk”. We all looked at each other and said as one, “That’s bad ass”. 

You saw it coming right?

From this point forward the meandering manifestation of the U of A and its reverenced Chancellor, Fenian Tim, will be posted at the top of this page. The U of A archive has been established, time to move forward. Let’s hope the venerable Fenian visits his page often. Yet, we must remain steadfast in remembering, he will only post when he has mental flatulence worthy of committing to cyberspace via the keyboard. And, he will not come uncloaked and go loquacious during the Tour de France.

The Pardu (fellow 6981st Silent Warrior..AKA The DF Guy)

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