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A dear friend of mine posted this and I would like for all of my friends to read this with an open heart and mind. This is another reason I’m so open about my political beliefs this election. I believe in equality for all.
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Full Name Deleted (did not secure position to use the writers name. Deletion is not the result of a wish to remain anonymous).
……A friend asked me to share my personal feelings about this election as he felt that my postings on Facebook are frequent, a little empty, and a reiteration of someone else’s posts. [although he said he agreed with most of them]. Following, is part one of that request. I’m starting with Gay Rights. The other parts will deal with other issues.
Why I’m voting Democrat Part 1: Gay rights. My rights.
I’m here to tell you that since age 4 (because that’s about as far back as I can remember) I’ve been gay. There was no choice in that. It’s just what it was. No one was a role model for me growing up. I certainly didn’t feel like I belonged growing up. Because like it or not, how we react to and perceive sexual orientation is conditioned. It’s a learned behavior. It’s about the romantic comedies we see on television, the covers of romance novels, or simply holding a door for a lady. It’s about James Bond getting the girl or multiple girls. It’s the tabloids where we see who is married to who, where, when how. It’s about being asked by a great aunt when you’re getting married. Our entire social structure is about two people, a man and a woman and whatever anatomy they have and whether or not they have children. It is not about one’s brain or the chemistry they may feel with someone outside of the ‘plan.’ It’s about pre-established roles. Growing up in small town and on a farm, I couldn’t quite figure it all out. I didn’t have a chance to.
Growing up in school it was terrible. Everyone knew I was different and I was shunned. Completely. From Kindergarten to being a Senior in High School no one would be my friend. Or if they were my friend, they wouldn’t be for long. I would be picked last for P.E. sports teams. I would be called ‘girl’ or ‘faggot.’ Every day. All day. My books would be pushed out of my hands for no apparent reason except that I was walking down the hall.The abuse/bullying was allowed. Accepted. Even the grade school principal took me ‘under his wing’ and made me play basketball to ‘toughen me up.’ It didn’t work. I sat at the lunchroom table every day… by myself. There were a few of us outcasts: one because she had severe facial blemishes, one because she associated with that girl, and then an occasional nerd who was incredibly smart and then the handicapped person that no one knew how to act. I pushed my face into books and proved myself academically, the only way I could be successful if only invisible to everyone else except myself and my teachers.
The constant message of ‘not measuring up’ didn’t stop there.
My family also didn’t accept it when I came out. My father asked when I would ‘be better.’ My mother compared it to having sex with my under age nephew… which she was glad wasn’t happening. [that comment hurt my feelings deeply] My own sister forbade me to see my niece and nephew and have them come for a visit when I had a place of my own because she didn’t want “that element” around her children. When I got my niece’s wedding invitation several years later it did say ‘… and guest’ but that was my nieces doing, not my sister’s. Also certain family financial decisions were made about me because I “wasn’t going to produce any heirs.”
At my first job I was harassed when I came out of the closet. And I wasn’t loud about it but told one person, then it spread like wild fire. The staff at that job would wash the handset of the telephone after I used it, the drinking fountain after I took a drink. I got accused of bringing in sexually suggestive material when it was simply the cover of an international graphic design magazine that was sent to the office subscribed to by the owner. I interviewed for a job so I could get out of that abusive environment and asked the hiring manager (and she could tell that I was shaking when I was asking) if being gay was a big deal at this new job. She gave me a hug and said no. I cried. Why? Because for the first time in 20 years… I wasn’t treated differently from everyone else.
You’d think that was it. But it didn’t stop there. I went to a blood fair hosted by our company, and the Red Cross, and they wouldn’t let me give blood. Why? I was gay. Gay men cannot donate blood because it’s automatically assumed their blood is contaminated with the HIV virus. It’s a rule that still stands today. Yes, it’s true.
The story continues. I live in a Bible belt. At one point the neighborhood I lived in was also the home to the largest KKK group in Missouri (I found that out afterwards). But every week (and this also goes for most anywhere in St. Louis I travel) I am called gay or fag at least once a week.
After 9/11 I became an interior designer. You would think finally things would have changed. It hasn’t. Husbands have fired me before because I’m gay. How do I know? They told me directly. I’ve even lost jobs immediately because of my sexual orientation because the couple, or the male especially, prefer to work with women instead of gay men. Period.
I also teach at a college. If you go to a few online ratings of professors, comments range from students but some against me include “he’s sooo gay.” And it was written as a slam, not a compliment. I cannot go online to these websites because it’s too hurtful.
Not sharing all of this so someone feels sorry to me. But for people that don’t understand or know, this has set the stage for me feeling the way I do about Gay Rights.
Now let me tell you of my accomplishments:
I was awarded 8 blue ribbons for speech competitions during junior high. I was in the honors program in college. My first job was as Creative Director for a division of S.C. Johnson & Sons. Within a year and a half I went from graphic design to Design Manager for the publishing company where I worked. By the age of 32 I was creative director of an ad agency. When I become a designer, my first time out at a Showhouse I beat out over 65 applicants and was one of 32 to decorate a mansion. My room was one of 9 that were featured out of those 32 spaces to be featured in a magazine. I have written an article on interior design first for a minor magazine then for the St. Louis Post Dispatch for nearly two years. I have been in multiple magazines since 2002. I have been an adjunct lecturer of art at a college for over 10 years and for two of those years I was also teaching at another University. I even have been the temporary director of digital arts technology for a college.
After 40 years of being picked on, verbally abused for being gay and saying I don’t count. I’ve had it! I DO count. I DO make a difference.
Note: here’s where I give the points I want to make… aren’t you glad you hung in there?
When Republican leaders warn they will compose an addendum the U.S. Constitution preventing same-sex marriage and also saying they are going to reinstate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, preventing gays from serving in the military, I get pissed. Really pissed.
Think I’m blowing it out of proportion because Republican’s really won’t do that? Or that it’s unlikely? Think again.
America has already removed and killed most of the Native Americans that occupied this country and taken away their native lands. We enslaved Blacks because they were considered a sub-race. We even lynched Blacks if they got out of hand and wouldn’t let them drink out of the same water fountain or use the same bathroom. Asians were considered less than slaves. America rounded up Asians during the World War II and put them into concentration camps.
Recently, we have shunned and spoke out against all Muslims because a group of psychopath extremists, who just happened to be Muslim, flew into two buildings in New York. Because of the fear and hate for all Muslims that some Americans have, the Republicans use that fear and hate against our President because his name sounds ‘Muslim-like.’ Where is the logic in that?
The Republicans spread false fear among Americans about gays as well because we are ‘threatening the sanctity of marriage’ or ‘leading us [America] down the path of moral destruction’ or ‘It’s against God’s will.’ Yet we have television and rock stars marrying for less than a few weeks and that’s ok. We have televangelists turning up having affairs, the Catholic Church fighting off lawsuit after lawsuit concerning sexual abuse towards minors. We even have a member House of Representatives, representing Minnesota, saying that gays are the cause for things like… hurricanes. [note to self: skip that class on meteorology, gays automatically control the weather].
I have a friend of mine Nick and his partner Alan who have adopted a beautiful child Noah. Not only do both of the guys have great jobs, contribute to their community, are respected in their field, but they also have adopted a son. They pay taxes. They sent their son to Kindergarten two weeks ago like every other parent did.
So when Republican leaders (and some Christian leaders) state that gays shouldn’t be allowed the right to marry, it’s complete hogwash. There is no gay agenda. Just like there wasn’t a weapon of mass destruction. Do you think making breakfast for your kid before he leaves for Kindergarten is an agenda?
Let’s talk about the Bible. If I hear one more statement about Sodom and Gomorrah, I’m going to crack. People that have actually read the Bible know the reason God destroyed those two cities was because of them being uncharitable and abusive to strangers, the poor, sick, and disadvantaged. This is the same thing that many Republicans and some Christian leaders are doing.
Stop using the Bible as a weapon against homosexuality. It’s not going to work. I grew up Christian and I know a lot of Bible verses so don’t play the game show QUOTE THAT BIBLE VERSE, I can play it all day. I know a lot of LGBT individuals who go to church, {Robyn and Jim in example} have their own church and lead admirable lives. The Bible and God don’t care about whether or not someone’s gay. Stop saying that it’s not true because it is.
We are not a nation under God. We are a nation under EVERYONE’s GOD. [the following paraphrased from Obama] We’re not a Christian nation. We’re a Muslim nation, a Hindu nation… and every other religion nation. We’re inclusive not exclusive. Heck, even people that don’t believe in God get rights. [I know, I should have given a spoiler alert.]
The Supreme Court: If you haven’t figured this out, several of the Justices of the Supreme Court are aging and near retirement. So if you vote for a Republican agenda, then you are also voting for the probability of that Republican appointing someone with the same ideology to a lifetime post. Someone that will judge, determine, set a mandate, deciding upon on a law that may not consider my minority group. I’m not interested in risking that.
As an American, I’m tired of being treated as second rate. And I’m not standing for it any more. I also don’t want the students I teach, the children of my niece and nephew to be treated as second rate.
I’m voting Democrat. The Democratic party is listening to ME, providing ME with opportunity for the future. They’re going to give ME civil rights, equal to others.
If you don’t agree, then that’s fine. But I’m taking care of myself and others like me this November. Please consider this when making YOUR decision.